Attachment & the Dance of Sex

dance sexIntegrating Couple and Sex Therapy

We are just going to chat here a little about a couple of small topics – sex and love – and how to really put them together and make them work – in just 50 minutes or so!

Where to start? Huge topic. So let’s start with my mother!

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Predicting Adult Physical Illness from Infant Attachment:

pred adult illness childA Prospective Longitudinal Study

Abstract

Objective

Recent epidemiological and longitudinal studies indicate that attachment relationships may be a significant predictor of physical health in adulthood. This study is among the few to prospectively link attachment classifications assessed in infancy to physical health outcomes thirty years later in adulthood, controlling for various health-related confounds.

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How to Find the Best Therapist for You

Therapy fit photoSeven tips on finding the best fit for you

The first time I went to therapy, my parents chose a psychotherapist quickly (an easier decision than which mechanic to use). The way they found this nutter-butter-can-of-cashews: My first pediatrician didn't know what to do for my all-night, every night nightmares, and so he sent me to a therapist. He thought she was good because of her seemingly impressive pedigree. And let me let them tell you as they told everyone who asked: "She did therapy on the Prime Minister from Israel." Even at age 10, I found this bit of information troubling and logistically dubious, as we lived in a beachside suburb in Los Angeles and the Prime Minister from Israel lived in Israel.

Here are a few examples of her wacky behavior:

1. She ate cottage cheese with her mouth open during our sessions. I feel sure that her mouth full of curds gave me more nightmares.

2. She read her mail during our sessions. While I get that my 10-year-old chatter was not very stimulating, she was getting paid to listen to me and not to read what the latest edition of Readers Digest said about how to declutter your desk. Good God, do I wish I was making this stuff up.

3. I have since learned that she asked patients for rides to the airport. She never asked me for a ride, but I was only 10 and I didn't even own a bike.

I thought, as a public service of sorts, and because I am a therapist and I write about being in therapy, it might be a good thing if I shared some thoughts about picking a therapist—should you ever find yourself in need of one—as they can be harder to find than a good mechanic.

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Digestion: Your Third Emotional Center

mousetrap roads

Many women suffer from digestive problems at midlife, often along with weight gain. In fact, GI tract problems such as bloating, gastric reflux, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome and ulcers are the second most common reason why people seek medical attention in this country. It’s no wonder, when you consider the standard American diet. Most people living with these problems know that there are endless medications on the market that are claimed to fix these problems so that you can continue to eat the foods you like, and which may cause your GI problems. But it is important to know that this conventional approach just masks the symptoms. GI tract problems are not caused by an antacid deficiency, so taking the popular medications, whether they are over-the-counter or prescription, really won’t help in the long run. In fact, it is well documented that dumping these symptom-masking medications into your GI tract can, in fact, lead to other health risks.

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