Life Is A Roller Coaster: One Ride We Shouldn't Take Alone

rollercoaster alexArticle Written by Doreen Barker
October 26, 2020

When we think of life using the metaphor of a roller coaster we can imagine the ups and downs, twists and turns, that often seem uncontrollable. However, we can make choices about how we ride life's ups and downs and how we choose to give meaning to situations. When a loved one dies, for example, we can choose to focus on the loss, or we can shift our attention to the gifts they gave us, the happy memories, the parts of them that are part of ourselves, and the reality that every one of us will transition out of our physical bodies and into eternity. This attitude doesn't mean that we don't grieve. In fact, grieving is a real and very important process of healing. But it does mean that we can create balance in our mind, body, and spirit by holding the grief while nuturing the memories and the positive meaning people have in our lives. The more we balance this self-reflective process, the more we can easily ride the rollercoaster. 

In this article, the author acknowledges the reality that life is harsh and full of ups and downs. But she also points out that we are all on this ride together and we are not meant to ride any rollercoaster alone. I hope you enjoy the read and find that it offers some perspective on how much control we have over situations despite life's twists and turns. 


Building Your Resilience

Hawk soaringPhoto credit: Scott HerschArticle Written by:
The American Psychological Association (APA) Help Center

We all face trauma, adversity and other stresses. Here’s a roadmap for adapting to life-changing situations, and emerging even stronger than before.

Imagine you’re going to take a raft trip down a river. Along with slow water and shallows, your map shows that you will encounter unavoidable rapids and turns. How would you make sure you can safely cross the rough waters and handle any unexpected problems that come from the challenge?

Perhaps you would enlist the support of more experienced rafters as you plan your route or rely on the companionship of trusted friends along the way. Maybe you would pack an extra life jacket or consider using a stronger raft. With the right tools and supports in place, one thing is sure: You will not only make it through the challenges of your river adventure. You will also emerge a more confident and courageous rafter.

What is resilience?

Life may not come with a map, but everyone will experience twists and turns, from everyday challenges to traumatic events with more lasting impact, like the death of a loved one, a life-altering accident, or a serious illness. Each change affects people differently, bringing a unique flood of thoughts, strong emotions and uncertainty. Yet people generally adapt well over time to life-changing situations and stressful situations—in part thanks to resilience.

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Attachment & the Dance of Sex

dance sexArticle Written by Dr. Sue Johnson on
March 14, 2016

Dr Sue Johnson talks about how relationships are about attachment---and good sex comes from a secure bond. Just as we are biologically wired as infants to bond to our caregivers, the same applies in intimate relationships. 

Excerpts taken from For full article, see link below

"Of course – Sex is a dance. We can show one partner a technique for how to modify their sexual response, for example by slowing down and squeezing the penis to prevent premature ejaculation, but in the end its the Between – the quality of relationship interactions that powerfully shape partners responses in and out of bed. In focusing on our individual sexuality, perhaps we forget that we are, above all, social bonding animals. Our bodies and our brains are designed to link with and resonate with others in bed and out of bed."

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Having Stress-Related Disorder Associated With Increased Risk of Developing Autoimmune Disease

autoimmune and stressThis study is ground breaking in my opinion---compiled over 30 years--it shows the connection between stress-related disorders and an increased risk for autoimmune disease.  There is a connection between stress and autoimmune! 

June 19, 2018
News releases & journal articles from the JAMA Network
Journal of the American Medical Asssocation

Bottom Line: Stress-related disorders brought on by traumatic or stressful life events were associated with increased risk of developing an autoimmune disease.

Why The Research Is Interesting: Development of stress-related disorders such as posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may influence multiple bodily systems, including immune function. Whether this contributes to risk for autoimmune disease remains unclear.

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The Biology Of Love

LoveArticle Written by Dr Bruce Lipton and Dr Deborah Sandella
July 24, 2016 

What Can Our Cells Tell Us about the Importance of Love?

Dr. Bruce Lipton sat down with Dr. Deborah Sandella to reveal how cells hold profound secrets of the heart.

What do your cells have to do with love? Molecular biology and romance seem unlikely bedfellows, but according to Dr. Bruce Lipton, a stem cell biologist, bestselling author of The Biology of Belief and recipient of the 2009 Goi Peace Award, it’s quite an affair. He calls it the “Honeymoon Effect.”

Almost everyone can remember a time when they were “head-over-heels in love.” During this juicy time of life, points out Lipton, our perception of the world expands and our eyes twinkle with delight. Our affection isn’t limited to our selected partner; rather we are in love with life itself and it shows.

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The Art of Saying No: Lessons from a Caregiver

caregiver says noArticle Written by Tracy Dalgleish, Phd 

“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

There it is again. Another person asks me for help. There’s a sharp pull inside of me to stop what I am doing and give.

And the internal struggle comes up.

I should just say yes and help them. What’s it take to write out a few text lines? An extra phone call? It’s not so bad, I tell myself. You are, after all, a caregiver.

My internal voice is so strong. It has been with me for a long time, this voice.

Then I feel my shoulders tense. I feel my breath begin to shorten. And a lightheaded feeling takes over. These are my early warning signs that I am taking on too much.

It has taken me some time to realize that this is what happens when I take on a lot and say yes—and that there is a significant cost to me. It stops me from getting my work done. I am not engaged and present when I am playing with my children. I am short with my husband. It derails my priorities. And it stops me from looking after myself.

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self loathArticle Written by Jo Barrington

Self-loathing is that underlying feeling that we are just not good: not good enough, not good at this, not good at that, not good at – or for –much of anything. It can be subtle, we may habitually compare ourselves to others, for instance, constantly finding fault with ourselves and putting ourselves down, with no real awareness that there is anything amiss. Or, we may listen intently to our critical inner voice while it scolds and berates us, telling us how embarrassing, stupid, or insensitive we are; refusing to challenge it even while we suffer from it.

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