What is a victory?
I have had so many victories. Despite how much pain and suffering I endured there are hundreds of gifts that have resulted from my illnesses. Moreso, because of adversity, I gained a resiliency that makes me a survivor and a compassionate, intelligent woman. The skills I learned from adversity have given my life more meaning that I could ever describe. I have loving relationships, an appreciation for the small things in life, and an awareness that I have what it takes to overcome anything. This is such a victory for me. Good things came from having my own, unique history. It wasn't all bad, and I have always known this. Even when I thought it was the worst it could ever get--and I wasn't going to make it--I had my past history of overcoming to light my way. Through suffering, I have been invited to build the strongest relationship with myself; after all, no one loves me as much as I can love myself and no one has the time to invest in me like I do.
I am not cured: This isn't what victory means to me. I continue to have challenges on a daily basis with autoimmune disease and emotional pain. But there is an attitude and a way that I approach what happens that helps me celebrate my life. I am not striving to become "whole." After all, I am not "broken." I strive instead to find a quality in my life that allows me to live it to its fullest--healthy, happy, and capable of more healing. Healing is a lifelong process. There is always more to do, more wisdom to gain, and more attention to give to our body, mind, and spirit. I embrace healing every day, and my victory is knowing how and what to look for in terms of what my unique self needs. I am always engaged in a process of healing, finding ways I can lighten the load on my immune system, and create better balance. I am always striving to have more compassion with myself, my limitations, and my body.
Here are some of the victories I celebrate daily:
I loved myself enough to get to know my "blind spots," how my traumatic past contributed to unhealthy choices in the present, and to learn what I need in my life to feel safe and nurtured. This growing, albeit painful, allowed me to attract one of the greatest blessings in my life--MY HUSBAND. He is a true reflection of my personal growth because I attracted a man who loves me for me, is selfless in his desires to help me heal, and commits his heart to furthering those aspects of my life that make me happy. He is a growth oriented person and he is willing to work on himself and our relationship so we evolve and learn together.
- I learned how to allow someone else to love me. Letting love into my life has healed my heart in so many ways--this has made my overall physical and mental health stronger
- I see the toxic relationships in my life and I refuse to allow any toxicity to remain in my life. I come first and my health is a priority to me; NOTHING IS WORTH SACRIFICING MY HEALTH
Casey and Bumchin Tegshjargal, Three Time United States Youth and Under-21 Latin champion.
I have a team of healers and physicians who view me as an expert of me. They are willing to accept that not one approach holds all the answers to my healing. They bring diversity and integration to my healing without ego. They don't have to be in charge and they certainly invite new perspectives about how to heal autoimmune disease and trauma.
Photo by: Timothy Wilkinson
- When I have relapses, I have a strong past to draw from. I know who to call, what my body's cycle of pain or illness typically is, and I can trust that my body is there for me; it knows what it needs to heal, and I am more confident trusting my body for the answers than I used to be
- I have a support system that I can call upon when I am stuck in my own thoughts, afraid, or need help processing my options. I know I need help and I am willing to ask for it
- I have empowered myself with my own "tools" for self-healing. I can use Reiki, NAET, and a variety of cognitive approaches to address my thoughts and stress. I don't solely rely on others to help heal me; I can rely on myself much of the time
- I know illness is a messenger, ALWAYS. When I have relapses or get sick with the flu, I always ask myself what is the message? What am I supposed to learn from this? When I shift my thinking to this place, I begin to shift out of the illness.
- My Healing Wheel is always moving. It changes, expands, and balances as I learn new information and experience new things with my body.
- Despite my wounded attachment history, I have maintained a consistently loving relationship with my pet companions--from birth to the present. This is a great victory for me. My pet companions have given me unconditional love, presence, and intuition that has furthered my healing and taught me many of my greatest life lessons
Adversity brought gifts into my life which furthered my healing: playing the piano, relationships with my elders, appreciating the importance of PLAYING, and an appreciation for synchronicity.
- Synchronicities: Nothing in my life is a mistake or coincidental. Everything happens in the perfect order and if I trust this process, I can see how it has unfolded and continues to do so in my life.
- As an adult, I still have all of my organs intact--no removal of any part of my stomach or intestines--and I have never taken immunosuppressant drugs. This means that what I am doing IS WORKING. I can celebrate that I am learning how to put together a unique formula for healing that is working for my body. Everyone has this capacity.
- I feel victorious because I am able to share my story with others in the hopes that because of my courage to share my own story, others will grow with me. Giving back to others is such a victory
I know what JOY and PASSION look, sense, and feel like. I bring these into my life whenever and wherever possible.
It is very important to me that I always look for the STRENGTHS in my life. This has allowed me to notice and NAME my victories. We all have MANY victories; unfortunately, it is difficult to find them when we draw attention to what is wrong in our lives. When in doubt, I look for the strengths and blessing in my life and then I know that healing is happening every moment of my life. My very existence--the fact that I have lived long enough to tell my story--is indeed a victory.